Have you ever seen or read Harry Potter? If not I highly recommend it!
I love each part of Harry Potter story and its messages.
In my case, movies open my imagination, and after the movie, my brain starts a process of connection with my reality and the people I know. I usually ask myself who am I, if I were one of the characters, and of course I think about who others are too…
This effect does not happen only to me, and this is how I got inspired to write this post.
Few years ago, I was with a colleague of mine that I think is very smart and with strong character, however, what was a surprise for me was that despite of her strong personality there was someone that had that Dementor effect on her.
In the context of Harry Potter, a Dementor is a creature that is featured as a non-living embodiment of fear and despair. They are described as being tall and hooded, with a skeletal appearance and a rotting scent. Dementors drain the happiness and positive emotions from the surrounding environment and individuals, leaving them feeling cold, depressed, and empty. They are known to feed on human happiness and are often sent by the Ministry of Magic to guard and patrol the wizarding prison, Azkaban. Dementors are highly feared and their presence can be incredibly unsettling and terrifying.
The time passed and I kept hearing stories… Stories of people been drained by others in different versions.
The one that have always an answer like a knife, those answers that in their mind finish: Really?? Are you stupid? But they don’t say it, and of course the receiver knows it, because is not stupid, however, is too polite or maybe too clever to answer back. This is what is called passive-aggressive behaviour: or Dementor type #1.
Dementor type #2 goes to a meeting or gathering and it’s always right. There is no human power that can convince him/her otherwise.
And finally, but not the last type, I have heard about a version, that is very dangerous!! this one is nice, calm and even positive, but never makes his/her mind, and every time you have to move ahead with a task you get no direction, or makes you re work on it thousands of times because someone else said something that made him/her re think the idea again!. Instead of fear brings despair… This is Dementor type #3
Imagine, if you will, a dementor-like colleague in an office setting. This person spreads an air of gloom and despair wherever they go. Their presence seems to suck the joy out of a room, leaving behind a heaviness that weighs on everyone’s spirits. Much like a dementor, their negative energy seems to leave people feeling drained, tired and disheartened.
The family member who behaves like a dementor is that one relative who always manages to bring down the mood during family gatherings. They have a knack for focusing on the negative aspects of life and seem to revel in highlighting everyone’s faults.
Among friends, the dementor-like individual can be the one who constantly complains and never seems satisfied. They have a talent for finding flaws in every situation and are quick to point them out, dampening the excitement and optimism of the group. Time spent with them often feels like an emotional rollercoaster, sucking away the joy and draining the energy of those around.
Just as dementors possess the ability to drain happiness, these real-life dementors possess a peculiar power to drain the positive energy in any given situation. Whether it be in the office, with family, or among friends, their energy or ways can infiltrate, casting a shadow that sometimes might be hard to shake off.
But don’t worry, just like the magical world found a way to repel dementors, we too have the power to shield ourselves from these draining individuals.
There is a famous Spanish psychiatrist, Marian Rojas Estape, that recommends surrounding ourselves with positive and uplifting people, she calls this: Vitamin people, and there is a lot of science behind it, In a nutshell having positive people around you plus managing the way you perceive the actions of the dementors you can create a shield that dementor-like individuals find hard to penetrate.
You’ll usually have choices, and those choices will be visible to you if you want to see them.
What I would personally recommend is to train your brain
Find those examples of Dementors-like situation
Think what drains you
Divide the situation in parts and identify which part you can control or change
Then repeat to yourself: Next time I do, think, answer or react like ABCD. (Plan in ADVANCE how would You Like To Change your end state)
I assure you, that there will be a time that you’ll automatically will do, think, answer, react like you have practiced and then becomes easy.
By choosing to focus on the good, acknowledging the positive aspects of life, and avoiding getting tangled up in their negativity, we can keep our spirits aloft and safeguard our own happiness.
Remember, much like in J.K. Rowling’s stories, even the darkest of creatures can be defeated with a little bit of light and a strong dose of will. So, let us shine our own light and spread happiness in the face of those who behave as dementors.
Identify, as well, if you behave as dementor and take small steps to change. Seeing how different is the world when you bring light instead of darkness will change your life too.
Hope you enjoyed this reading!
I am an advocate of kindness, candidness, honesty, courage and a better world.
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